Life In The Swamp

“Ottawa, best known as the capital of Canada, also features the National Gallery of Canada, the annual Bluesfest, winter skating on the Rideau Canal — and, perhaps, a staggering amount of illicit sex.”

Now THAT’S a great lead, I thought, reading on to learn that the recently hacked (and possibly in the process of being blackmailed) Ashley Madison website has “189,810 Ottawans on its books, which is roughly 20 percent of the city’s population and the highest sign-up rate for the site in Canada and possibly the world,” according to Reuters.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Ashley Madison (and, Marie, I swear I’m not), it’s a company/website set up with the express purpose of helping married folks have affairs.

Here is some copy from the homepage: “Ashley Madison is the most successful website for finding an affair and cheating partners. Have an Affair today on Ashley Madison. Married Dating has never been easier. With Our affair guarantee package we guarantee you will find the perfect affair partner.”

Gotta love the affair guarantee package.

Despite the days-old hack, the site still boasted it was “anonymous, trusted, discreet, secure.” Methinks not quite.

Though quite amusing, I didn’t have any column fodder with this little bit of fun until I got to the following line of the above-referenced story:

“At Ashley Madison, customer service appears to be in ‘meltdown,’ with some reps falsely claiming that the hackers were not successful and all customer data is completely secure,” the Guardian reports.

Ashley Madison reps uttering falsehoods? “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!”

I began to envision the customer support department, with its cubicles dividing perhaps a dozen reps, replete with headsets. Then I pictured the department manager sitting in an office off to the side trying to keep his troops performing admirably through the crisis. In my head, I overheard the following dialogue.

Stan the manager: “Jimmy, can you come into my office for a minute?”

Jimmy the fairly-new rep: “Sure, Stan.”

Stan: “Jimmy, I heard you tell that customer we haven’t been hacked, that everything is fine.”

Jimmy: “Righto Stan.”

Stan: “But we’ve been hacked. You know it and so does everyone else.”

Jimmy: “Well, it got him off the phone and made him feel better.”

Stan: “But that’s dishonest Jimmy.”

Jimmy: “Stan, our whole business is dishonest.”

Stan: “Son, don’t get sassy with me.”

Stan, you see, has learned that you cannot alter the moral tone you wish to convey from moment to moment if you hope to have any credibility. You cannot, as a leader, manager or business, embraces lies and deception in some areas and hope to enjoy honesty and trust in others. You cannot run a business which facilitates your customers engaging in dishonesty and deception while expecting to enjoy a relationship of honesty and trust between you and your customers or between you and your employees. You cannot live in the swamp and not get bitten by mosquitos.

Of course, this is an extreme example, as none of you work for such an organization, but some of you do work at places where you see other executives engaging in questionable things, such as getting fast and loose with expense reports or moving down the slippery slope of irregular (great word) accounting practices. Some of you work in environments where everybody knows so and so is having an affair (maybe with another so and so in the office), and yet that same person expects their staff to be honest, forthright and trustworthy.

The point here is that if you wish to be a high-level leader, a true leader, both you and your organization have to walk the walk. You must work at a place with an admirable mission and you must both follow someone who lives the mission and do the same yourself. Also, all those who directly report to you must be of the same ilk, and so on down the line.

Do we all have to be boy and girl scouts? Can we not have any fun? I am sorry to say that if your idea of fun is the Ashley Madison variety, then the answer is you cannot have any fun. Remember, if you expect your troops to hold up under fire, they must have both a mission and leader who hold themselves up for inspection and approval every day, and have no need to scurry for cover when some hacker threatens to turn on the lights.