Save for my relationships, I would be of little value. Who I am is simply a reflection of those who sow in me. Believe in me before I believe in myself. And even after I believe in me, they nurture me. Oft times they prune me. Getting cut back hurts like hell, but enables growth. Beauty from ash. Sometimes they cover me so I can heal, safely. My formal mentors.
I began formal mentorships long before iPhones. With vision bigger than skills, I needed help. And I knew it. I had zero chance alone. I researched mentoring best practice, found one I liked, and began my journey. One-year contract with expiration date. Clear objectives with measures. Formal agendas. Monthly hour-long meetings. Focused. Every other year, I mentee and give back what I learned. Mentors include CEOs, senators, physicians, nurses, lawyers, geeks, pastors, and business people.
Today I count 11 former mentors with whom I can FaceTime. And I do. Big decisions. Crisis at work. Family challenges. Life! I have 11 people who love on me, know me deeply, and are vested in my success. I am an intricate tapestry of these giants. I am afraid of where I would be today without them — or where I will be tomorrow. They are interwoven in my DNA.
I teach mentoring seminars now and again, and only 3 percent of attendees have a formal mentor. I don’t know how the remaining 97 percent do it. I can’t imagine not having a mentor. It is a lifestyle. It is a fountain of wisdom that never runs dry. If you hope to differentiate yourself from the pack and experience exponential growth, grab a mentor.
One might think that as you grow in your career, you no longer need a mentor. Admitting your need for help is counter culture. A sign of weakness. Pride keeps us from reaching out. To the contrary, seeking wisdom from mentors is strength personified. I am desperate for it. The greater your authority, the greater your need for a formal mentor. Pride destroys potential.
Finding a formal mentor is not difficult. Be intellectually honest and consider your gaps. Ask yourself questions:
- What help do I need?
- Where would I like to grow?
- Who do I admire?
- Who can I commit to for one year?
Answer these questions and the mentor will reveal himself or herself. Then go and ask them, eyeball to eyeball. Explain that it is a limited, time-boxed engagement and that you will handle all details. All the mentee needs to give is one hour per month for one year. That’s it. I have never been turned down.
You want to be a better partner? Find a mentor. A better parent? Find a mentor. A better leader? Find a mentor. A better person? Yep, find a mentor. Then be one.
Key Takeaways
- Mentoring is a lifestyle, not a one and done, check-the-box arrangement.
- Formal mentoring ensures transparency and accountability.
- Have a written contract with measurable key results.
- Mix it up with a mentor who is younger and different than you.
- As others sow in you, sow back.
If there is interest, I will post my mentor contract. I will post the mentoring dashboard developed when I first became a CIO (example of objectives and key results). I will add my list of mentor wisdom learned that I still refer to today.
Thank you to Tim and Achilles Demetriou, MD — an accomplished surgeon, leader and inventor who served as my mentor in 2006 — for the gift of your time and wisdom. Because you invested in me and many others, your legacy continues.
Originally published on LinkedIn, this piece was written by Ed Marx, CIO at the Cleveland Clinic. To follow him on Twitter, click here.
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