“It’s the quiet ones you have to watch.”
It’s a phrase most of us have heard — and come to despise — as the connotation is that people who don’t often speak up are hiding something. While most would laugh this off as ridiculous (which it is), there is a lack of understanding when it comes to introverts that often causes highly skilled people to be overlooked. If you don’t shout over your colleagues at meetings or broadcast an idea the second it pops into your head, you risk being seen as passive or insecure.
And that’s not good, particularly in an environment where critical strategies are being formulated and input is needed from all stakeholders.
But what if the perception is wrong? Perhaps those who wait a beat before offering an opinion do so because they’re being deliberate and meticulous. Perhaps they’ve chosen to devise a plan and then act, rather than speeding through the process. Is that such a bad thing?
Kathryn Crous doesn’t think so. In a recent interview, she talked about the value of quiet leadership, something that has served her well during her 20-plus year career in health IT. During her time as site CIO at Long Island Jewish Medical Center (now Northwell Health), Crous “didn’t speak a lot” during meetings, piping in only when she felt compelled to do so. As a result, when she did speak up, “everybody listened, because they knew I wasn’t just going to bloviate and talk about something unnecessary.”
Her mantra? “Listen more than you speak, and make sure you have a good answer,” she said.
It’s sound advice, and it offers another perspective into the world of introverts, who are often overlooked because “they don’t shout as loud,” according to Forbes.com. In reality, they’re more likely to truly absorb what’s being said, rather than scrambling to formulate a rebuttal. “By weighing up all the options and considering their contribution, they add a great deal to the group’s creativity,” the piece stated.
On the other hand, those who are always pounding their chests may, in fact, have valuable insights, but because people are used to the shouting, it starts to become white noise after a while.
Take for example Brandon Marshall, one of the most outspoken players in the NFL. A few years ago while still with the Chicago Bears, he tried in vain to inspire his teammates to do better by shouting and crying. It wasn’t until a few teammates approached him that he finally began to see the error of his ways. “You’re too high,” they told him. He realized that the best way to galvanize his team was by taking his emotions down a few notches. “Once you start taking it to another level with anger and rage, you lose people,” he said.
And it can be nearly impossible to regain their trust, something Marshall learned the hard way after he was traded in 2015 for the third time is his career. But rather than run from his mistakes, Marshall — who was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder — has become an advocate for mental illness, and has earned high praise from his teammates on the Jets.
In more ways than one, life has taught him that although it’s important to speak your mind, sometimes actions speak louder than words.
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