“I have never been treated so badly in a meeting in my whole career,” Nancy said.
Though she had related the story of this meeting to me before, I don’t think Nancy used the description above. Realizing she’s been in the industry more than 20 years — years that cover a lot of meetings — the words struck me.
“Really?” I asked, incredulously. “Never?”
“Never,” she deadpanned.
First off, it’s important to remember that this particular meeting was pre-arranged and agreed to — nobody forced the person on the other end to take it. When she arrived at the booth, Nancy was greeted by “Sal” with a, “Who are you and what do you want,” attitude, followed by a, “I don’t have a lot of time. If you still want to talk, we’re gonna walk and talk.”
Completely disinterested with what Nancy had to say, Sal boasted about his company’s prowess, dismissed the merits of his competitors, then summarily and unceremoniously dismissed her. Now, before we feel sorry for Nancy (and that is not the point of this column), she is one tough cookie and, though this was a career low in terms of her treatment, she shrugged it off like a true professional and moved on.
But I’m not ready to move on.
After we discussed the incident again, I reflected. “You know,” I said to Nancy. “I think people can really be judged by the way they treat supplicants such as salespeople (I’ll include anyone working on tips or full commission, such as waiters and real estate agents). When you mistreat the people you can get away with mistreating, that says a lot about you.
It said a lot about ESPN reporter Britt McHenry who was recently caught on tape verbally obliterating a parking lot attendant. McHenry was subsequently suspended a week for gratifying her basest instincts to hurt someone she was angry with.
And it said a lot about a girl I dated during my single days who treated a bus boy with contempt. (I can remember the restaurant and even the table.) That was the end of that.
Am I guiltless of this? No. And I’m embarrassed to say I’ve taken the coward’s route of being rude to telemarketers who call during dinner. Though, in my defense, I didn’t ask them to call or give them my number. But I can be better. I can be kinder, and I can be more polite. They are, of course, doing their jobs.
I’m no holy roller, but the words of Jesus Christ come to mind when describing who is worthy of kindness. Whether you see him as savior or philosopher, they make a lot of sense:
“Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.” — Matthew 25:45
For sure, Nancy and the thousands of salespeople like her are far from the least of “these,” so we should definitely treat them with respect, if not kindness, for they are doing a job to feed the families they go home to every night. At work, they are sellers, but at home, they are buyers.
Folks like Sal are also both, but he seemed to have forgotten that. To him, Nancy was a pesky seller, but when he speaks to his prospects, he assumes the more vulnerable role. Does Sal like to be treated as uninvited beggar, even when he’s been invited?
I believe karma will set Sal straight as it does all who interpret a run of good fortune as a permanent state of affairs. For we reap what we sow, our actions are as ripples that either further our reputations as “good guys” or betray us as “real jerks.” 40,000 folks at HIMSS? Don’t let the numbers fool you — it’s a tiny, tiny industry. Everyone knows everybody and, with Sal’s behavior, it won’t take long for everyone to know him.
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