Anthony Guerra, Editor-in-Chief, hsCIO.com
“I am still pretty sore at the company brain trust. I know I have to let it go, but when you commit yourself to an organization and they crap all over you, it leaves a mark,” wrote a friend of mine.
My buddy had recently been fired from a C-level job at an organization where he, as per the above, was totally committed. He felt betrayed, hurt and powerless. He felt he knew better than the person who orchestrated his dismissal and that if someone even higher in the organization could only see his value, they’d get rid of his executioner and bring him back.
“It’s just not fair that someone who is so wrong gets to get rid of me,” we say when it’s our turn.
But you can just picture a grandfather-like figure leaning over a small child to whisper, kindly but firmly, “Life isn’t fair, kid.”
And that’s the truth. Life isn’t fair, but that almost doesn’t matter. They key is that life … is. And in that sense, it’s much better to understand the rules of the game than to rage against them. When you work in an organization, when you have a boss, you essentially, to borrow a phrase from politics, “Serve at the pleasure of the president” (or CEO, or manager, or whatever). A big rule I learned long ago was no matter how right you think you are, and no matter how many people you think know it: you don’t beat the boss. You aren’t going to win that fight. If you’re on the outs, you’d better start thinking about getting out.
And this bring us to the question of organizational loyalty, something that’s hard to understand — a dynamic much akin to fanatic dedication to a sports team, the employees (players) of which don’t know you exist. In short, there is no such thing as an organization to have loyalty too. “But that’s terrible,” you say.
No, not really, because I do believe in the idea of loyalty to people who have shown loyalty to you. When and if all the people you had loyalty to are gone, then look at what’s left — a commute, a new boss, dollars and cents — and decide if there’s enough there to stick around. The “organization” isn’t having sleepless nights thinking about you, why are you so concerned about it?
So let’s say the worst has happened, as it recently happened to my friend above. You’ve been wrongfully terminated, emotionally speaking. What to do with that anger? What you’ll hear from most people who’ve gone through this is that you’ve got to let it go: “You’ll thank them someday for doing you a favor.”
Really? I don’t think so.
While many who’ve been shown the door are thrilled after they walk through a new one — finding that the grass is, in fact, greener — I have never experienced the aforementioned sense of appreciation they recommend, and I think to expect it or even seek it is nonsense.
Instead, use that angst as fuel, but be sure it is of the variety that focuses rather than distracts. If you like, think of this as keeping the picture of Clubber Lang on the mirror straight in front of you, not in the rear view. It may be trite, but it’s true — the best revenge isn’t in destroying one’s enemy, but living well, and knowing he’s watching.
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