“I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but it just doesn’t seem you’re taking your job seriously,” said Kerry Massaro Bowbliss, my Editor-in-Chief at Wall Street & Technology. “You remember we talked about you moving up? We’ll, I’m not sure about that anymore.”
It was the fall of 2000, and I vaguely remember grunting some kind of apology before being dismissed from her office, probably still recovering from the previous night’s partying. It was at my desk that the significance of what had just happened hit me — I was blowing it, big time.
I had a great job working for a trade publication that focused on a very cool niche of IT. I was working in NYC. I was relatively young and I was single. But the best part of it all is I was working for Kerry — a great leader and manager who cared deeply about the editorial quality of our publication, something all too uncommon in the trades. One of the most important things she taught me, which can be seen in the format of healthsystemCIO.com today, is that you speak to the target readers, not the vendors, because the target readers (CIOs) want to hear from each other. It’s so simple, so true, and so effective.
I got to thinking about Kerry, and the impact she’s had on my career, while reading through the wonderful new series of columns our Managing Editor Kate Gamble has developed — Acknowledging Our Mentors. And, as the above story shows, mentoring isn’t all about being warm and fuzzy. Sometimes — perhaps a lot of time — the best mentors are the ones who are also willing to call us to account when we’re not giving our best.
From my recollection, a 180 degree change in my behavior resulted from Kerry having the courage to take me to task. I say “courage,” because very few relish confrontation, especially with staff members we have to work with every day. But that really doesn’t do you, and certainly doesn’t do the other person, any good. If Kerry had written me off instead of verbally writing me up, perhaps my career would have taken a different trajectory.
We hate to think of it in these terms because they seem condescending, but managing and mentoring are a bit like parenting. You try to lead by example, offering positive feedback to bring out the best in your team. But sometimes being a good mentor, manager, or parent takes a firmer hand, and we all know what can happen when a parent slips too long and comfortably into the role of friend — the sapling is never righted.
When I was on such a path, Kerry did me the favor of temporarily switching from good cop to bad, and it was just what I needed. So before you write off that person for whom you had such high hopes, sit them down for a talking to, and let them know what you thought versus what you think now, and how they might get you thinking like you used to. It’s just possible that, like me, they’ll snap out of whatever has grabbed hold of them and become the employee you always hoped they’d be. And, if that’s how it goes, they’ll always remember you for it, and acknowledge it when someone gives them the chance.
If you’re a provider-side healthcare IT executive interested in acknowledging your mentor, contact healthsystemCIO.com Managing Editor Kate Gamble.
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