I saw Sally, mother of one of Tyler’s classmates, run into the schoolyard.
“Hey Sally, forget Sam’s backpack?” I asked, something I’ve done at least five times.
“No,” she shot back, “Sam just fell and banged his face under his eye. He’s got a big gash, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to need stitches, so I’ve got to take him to the ER now.”
Knowing she wasn’t about to stop and chat, I simply offered. “Sorry to hear it. Good luck,” as she turned the corner of the school heading for her car.
A few minutes later, I saw the manager of the after-care program where Sam and Tyler had been playing.
“Hey Ben,” I said. “I hear Sam took a fall and might need stitches.”
“Yeah,” he said, showing me how it had happened (certainly nobody’s fault). “But he was really good about it, though.”
I was impressed. As we all know, a face injury like that is going to cause a lot of bleeding, and that’s one thing which usually send all kids, including 7-year-olds, over the edge.
Later that night, I texted Sam’s dad to see how the boy was doing. The reply was telling:
“Thank you. 13 deep stitches to the cheek bone but he handled it remarkably well.”
Now, this may all be coincidence, but I’ve just finished reading “Cato, A Tragedy,” written by Joseph Addision in 1712, and I read it because it turns out it was one of George Washington’s favorite plays. I learned that by listening to “1776,” written and read by David McCullough, one of the greatest historians, writers and narrators of all time. I read about people I want to learn about and learn from, and when I learn what inspired them, it is only natural to head upstream and absorb that source of knowledge.
Now, Washington’s favorite quote from “Cato” resonated deeply with my philosophy on life. In the quote, Portius (one of Cato’s sons) is speaking to Sempronius (a fellow senator) about their chances of success against an impending attack by Caesar:
“‘Tis not in mortals to command success,
But we’ll do more, Sempronius —
We’ll deserve it.”
Of course, I read the whole play in one sitting, highlighting passages that resonated with me. Many did. The theme of the work, the Stoic tradition, focuses on constancy, composure, and self-control, not just in the best of times, but in the absolute worst. It focuses not on why things have happened (for that is largely irrelevant) but how we face them, how we bear up, what we do now.
In the play, Cato gives us an example of this taken to its extreme. No mere cut on the playground, his son, Marcus, is slain. And what is the first, the only thing, Cato wants to know? Not why did he die; not how will I bear this sorrow; but how did he handle his death? How did he handle the extreme challenge that faced him? Did he do his duty? Did he act with courage, steadfastness and honor? Or did he crumble, run and hide?
Portius tells his father (Cato) how his brother Marcus met death.
Portius (to Cato): “Misfortune on misfortune! grief on grief!
My brother Marcus——
Cato: Ha! what has he done?
Has he forsook his post? Has he given way?
Did he look tamely on, and let them pass?
Portius: Scarce had I left (you), but I met (Marcus)
Borne on the shields of his surviving soldiers,
Breathless and pale, and cover’d o’er with wounds.
Long, at the head of his few faithful friends,
He stood the shock of a whole host of foes,
Till, obstinately brave, and bent on death,
Oppress’d with multitudes, he greatly fell.
Cato: I’m satisfied.”
And there it is. We contemplate not the act which befalls us, but judge our reaction to it. As far as Sam goes, all those in the know were satisfied with his. The boy is off to a good start.
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