“If you want something done, ask a busy person.”
It’s a quote we’ve all heard before. And if you’re anything like me, it makes you cringe — because you’re that person.
Some attribute it to Benjamin Franklin, some to Lucille Ball. Either way, it was penned by a classic overachiever whose ambition and drive led to phenomenal success. Part of that drive means willingness to go the extra mile, all the time. It means never taking no for an answer.
Sometimes, however, it also means not being willing — or able — to say no. And that’s not good.
Sarah Richardson, CIO at NCH Healthcare System, talked about this in a recent blog.
“Raise your hand if you are the one who is consistently sought out to complete special projects, join committees, or lead key initiatives because you are guaranteed to get it done and deliver results,” she wrote (my hand was sky-high). “Many of us are guilty of this and may become overwhelmed at the amount of to-do items on our list. Worse yet, we struggle to say no based on the fact we know we can do a good job and people are counting on us.”
That last part is deceiving because it sounds like a good thing. After all, who wouldn’t want to be thought of as someone who is reliable and always delivers? But there’s a downside — a big one. Because when you always say yes, “you dilute your ability to focus on the most important items,” Richardson wrote.
So why is it so hard to say no? A few reasons.
- We think we can do it better, faster, more efficiently ourselves. Sometimes we’re all guilty of this. We think — no, we know — that we can fix a problem easily, so we just take care of it, even though others are capable of doing it with a little guidance. What we don’t realize in our haste is that if we had only taken some time to show someone else how to do it, we’d be able to delegate it in the future. However, investing in long-term results requires patience — something busy people don’t always have in spades. But here’s the thing, if you aren’t willing to relinquish some responsibilities, even if it means walking people through processes and giving feedback, you’ll never have any time.
- We’re afraid of showing weakness. Again, this happens to the best of us. We’re scared that if we say no, others might judge us. They might question our commitment. This is especially true with people who feel their jobs might be vulnerable, like new hires or parents returning from maternity leave — sometimes for good reason, unfortunately. The onus here is on leaders to set an example by saying no, and reacting with understanding when others do the same.
- We’re afraid of losing control. I’ve known several people during the course of my career who were terrified that if they turned down a task, they’d never get another opportunity. They have what I refer to as a Wally Pipp [For those who have never heard of him, Pipp was the guy who lost his starting job to Hall of Famer and baseball legend Lou Gehrig. According to folklore, Pipp sat out one game with a headache and was replaced by Gehrig, who then played in 2,130 consecutive games.] What these people don’t realize is that Pipp was the exception, not the rule. There is only going to be one Lou Gehrig.
What they also don’t realize is that saying yes despite being at full capacity is far more damaging to their reputation, because it prevents them from devoting full attention to the task at hand. And that is when management is going to take notice — and take away responsibility.
It’s exactly what happened a while back when a freelancer I worked with who had been very reliable suddenly became unresponsive and started turning in assignments late. When we finally got in touch, she told me she had taken on some extra work and had been completely overwhelmed. She apologized, and I agreed to give her another chance, as long as she agreed to let me know if she was nearing full capacity. I was willing do this because I already knew she did excellent work; now I also believed she would be willing to say no.
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