I heard a man years ago say that we judge ourselves by our intentions, while the world judges us by our actions. While driving to work the other morning contemplating the tension that exists between a couple of departments in my organization, I was thinking about what I could do to bring that tension down and create ways to build trust between the teams. As I was thinking about it, I found myself making mental excuses for not doing it. I had thoughts about how busy I am and when this would fit in. Is it really my responsibility? (Duh, as the leader, yes it is).
My intentions were really sincere and the need to bridge this chasm is really important to me and to the organization. However, each moment and day that goes by where I take no action to reduce this tension or create opportunities to build trust, others are forming opinions based upon my inaction that it is not important to me. I can “think” about it as much as I want, but until I act on it, there is no value.
Do you feel, as the leader in your organization, that creating opportunities for others to trust you, your team, and each other is on you? There is no way that you have made it to a leadership role if someone did not trust you. There is certainly no way you have reached the level you have of a great leader without trust. The trust cannot stop with your boss (we all have one) or peers trusting you — those who work for you must trust you.
Recently, I have found myself guilty of judging others’ actions against how I would have handled the situation. We had several high-level decisions that needed to be made and I was not the final decision maker. The outcome would have required the leader either to admit that a major project had been underestimated, or to rob Peter to pay Paul and take money from other projects to cover costs, meaning someone’s project would not get done.
From my view it was clear what needed to happen, but that was not the path we were proceeding down. How should I have handled it? I should have asked why and been willing to listen to the “rest of the information.” However, what I did was make judgmental statements about why I thought this was the wrong decision. My intentions were not to demean this person or to get the troops up in arms; my intentions were to get someone to say “time out; let’s rethink this.”
However, referring back to my opening statement, we judge ourselves by our intentions while the world judges us by our actions. Through my actions, it appeared I thought I knew better than the other person. No matter my intentions, the way I went about it was poor.
I use this as an example because in a fast-paced environment like the one most of us work in, similar actions like the one I described can happen several times a day without that ever being our intention. The outcome is distrust. This is what occurred with the two departments I referenced earlier. Over time, they have judged each other on actions and not on intentions. It has eroded trust, and that results in decreased productivity. In our case, it directly impacts our ability to meet our customers’ needs in a timely manner. So what can we do to prevent this erosion? After all, I would rather prevent something from breaking then spend my time repairing it.
Here are some action items that I have found to be helpful.
Set a goal to over-communicate. I bet you can’t do it. As a leader, we are always looked upon as having all the information. No matter how much you share, those who you lead will suspect you know more. So be intentional about your intentions.
- Make time to tell people what you are thinking. Never assume.
- Communicate frequently using various methods, but seek to have one standard way that folks can always count on hearing from you (and don’t make it email).
- I remember in the 80’s before email was so accepted, we would get voicemail broadcast messages to our desk phones. It cannot replace in person conversations, but there is still something more intimate about hearing a person’s voice than reading an email. Be creative; how about today’s modern day version of broadcast messages — video. Whatever your comfort zone, be predictable and frequent in your communications. Honest and frequent communication decreases judgment.
If others have judged you — and they have — without fully knowing what you were thinking, then realize that you are also guilty of this. Before you jump to conclusions, ask open-ended questions.
- Asking closed ended questions puts others on the defensive.
Remember that all of your thinking is provisional.
In other words, you yourself can never see the situation from all the different perspectives at once. Your thoughts/conclusions are always limited.
I often write AMTIP (All my thinking is provisional) at the top of my notes when a meeting or discussion starts, just to keep myself in check. It also provokes some interesting dialog when someone asks me what that stands for. Try it sometime for yourself.
[This piece was originally published on Culture Infusion, a blog created by Chris Walden and Bill Rieger. Follow their blog on Twitter at @C_infusion.]
Share Your Thoughts
You must be logged in to post a comment.