“Hi Anthony, Wanted to outreach to you for coaching and guidance. Exploring new career endeavors. Let me know a good time to sync with you. Look forward to it.”
First off, I will not tell a lie — it is very flattering when someone thinks you can give them good advice, but this is not too surprising given I write a presumptuous column every week in which I claim to know quite a lot about quite a bit. Up until recently, however, anyone smart enough to send an email like this (to anyone) was a good deal smarter than me. More on that later.
When I finally did get on the phone with the young man, I was able to offer some high-level reframing of his challenge which, I think, was helpful. It was basically, a “slow down and back up” piece of advice which would help create a more focused set of options.
“It sounds like you are reaching out in a lot of different directions,” I said. “Maybe it might be better to slow down, step back and select one general direction, and then do your outreach.”
“You are right on,” he said. “I really need to do that.”
I may have been on the right track in terms of helping out, but he was on the right track in terms of reaching out. By that I don’t mean to me, in particular, but to anyone he thought could offer a unique perspective. And the willingness to seek mentors is the result of a key ingredient of success I’ve addressed in a previous column — humility, because those who think they know everything won’t ask anyone about anything.
In terms of my personal evolution and growth (and I truly feel I’m in the middle of a growth spurt of sorts), I’ve recently come to understand the value of humility and, as a natural consequence, the fact that I don’t know everything. In fact, once this bug bites, you are shocked at how much you don’t know, and kind of amazed at what you’ve done so far. But the antidote to humility-induced trepidation is the recourse mentioned above — mentoring. It only goes to figure: I don’t know lot of important stuff, so I’d better start talking to folks who are familiar with some of it.
And so, I’ve started my own journey of being an active mentee. And I use the word “active” intentionally — I’m not merely going to wait for serendipity to produce useful encounters. I’m making a list and checking (or updating, or adding to it) more than twice, but continually. Yes, I’ve got a list of mentors with different backgrounds and temperaments, but all with the key ingredients that they have accomplished something interesting and that they’re willing to share.
For instance, just last week at the NJ/Delaware Valley HIMSS Annual Conference (a first-class affair orchestrated by a first-class guy — Tony Ferrante), I wound up sitting down and chatting with Celwyn Evans from Greencastle Consulting for at least an hour, probably two. Celwyn, with two other partners, started the company 17 years ago. We had a great talk, and I learned a ton, from general principles about running a business down to some specific nut cutting. And so, he’s now on my Mentors list.
And there will be others. Some will stay on and some will come off, but the important thing is that the list exists, and that I will make a point of connecting with the folks on it. You see, I’ve just come to understand that the more you move along, the more you accomplish, the more you enter spheres of operation you know little about, and the more you must be willing to seek out advice. And, interestingly, the higher you go, the smaller the pool of possible mentors, and so you must be all the more deliberate about the effort.
Humility, seeking our mentors, learning, growth, and giving back by serving as a mentor — I’m glad to finally understand that it’s not a sequence of steps on a ladder, but a circle in which you embrace all roles at once. Knowing this, knowing that you never have to know everything, that you never will know everything, and that even the most accomplished of us should be asking someone else for advice, is refreshing, liberating and incredibly empowering.
Share Your Thoughts
You must be logged in to post a comment.