Occasionally, I’m asked to write a letter of reference or recommendation for an industry professional. Moments ago, I sat down to perform such a request and, as I began to gather my thoughts, reflected on how the next few minutes — and the ideas that either did or did not flash through my mind — would say quite a bit about the person in question.
Luckily, this was an easy one, as I had much contact with the individual over the years, and knew both her work and character to be excellent. I was able to recall and relate multiple examples of her professionalism and generosity.
But what if it had been different? Let’s put aside the fact that I should have, somehow, politely declined the request if such were the case. But let’s say I did not, and so when I sat down to a blank screen, I drew a blank slate. What would that say about the person in question? What if you had made the request and your mini-biographer were suffering from a writer’s block brought on by your own lack of accomplishment, by your own paucity of contribution? Not a pleasant thought, is it?
I have related the concept before that an instructive way to live one’s life, to make decisions, is to consider what you would want a character (the hero, let’s say) in a book to do. Would you want them to shrink from a challenge or push through, even if pushing meant ultimate destruction? Would you want them to do the noble thing and lose the treasure or sneak and slink but get the money? Would you want them to profess love to their beloved or let fear and indecision let a once-in-a-lifetime moment slip away?
Live the life you would want to read, I say, and the devil be dammed about the consequences.
Well, the concept of living a life worthy of recommendation — specifically a recommendation letter — seems a pretty useful model as well. And though I mentioned professionalism and generosity above, it is certainly the latter that trumps the former. I mean, “She oversaw a flawless EHR rollout,” is nothing compared to, “She gave of herself without reservation. She said yes to many requests for help. She was always there to mentor staff and colleagues.”
So as you go about your daily business, and cross things off your strategic and tactical to-do lists, know that it simply isn’t enough if you want to be recommendation-worthy, if you want to be remembered fondly. You have to do more; you must operate on a generous, selfless, human level. You must not only pull or push yourself up in the world, but bring others with you.
It is these types of contributions that are the most meaningful to give, the most profound to receive, and the most easily recommended.
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