“Are you taking any medications?”
“I was taking something for hyperthyroidism… or hypothyroidism. It was levo-something. I don’t remember. Can you just check my chart?
“Well which one was it — hyperthyroidism or hypothyroidism?”
“I don’t know.”
“I need to know now.”
Was this guy kidding?
I had spent the past 36 hours in a labor and delivery bed hooked up to fetal heart monitors after my OB/GYN noticed decelerations in my son’s heartbeat and sent me to the hospital. With the exception of a few short breaks, I had spent the entire time lying on my side with bands strapped tightly around me to keep the sensors in place, and enable the doctors to get an accurate reading.
It was rough. I was exhausted, hungry, uncomfortable, and extremely worried — not a great combination.
So when my husband and I were told I would need to undergo an emergency C-section at 33 weeks, I needed to be consoled and reassured. I didn’t need to be barked at by the anesthesiologist for not remembering the details of a medication I had stopped taking a while ago.
I didn’t understand why he had to be so harsh. Couldn’t he have exercised a little decorum? Maybe, but as the neonatologist later told me, “It’s not his job to be nice. He’s there to safely administer the epidural so that you don’t have a bad reaction or feel pain.”
He was absolutely right. That is his job.
On the other end of the spectrum, there was the staff at the mother and baby unit. Every nurse I encountered during my almost week-long stay treated me with care and compassion. Whether I needed another pillow, pain medication, or to be wheeled to the NICU to see my babies, they were there for me, 24/7. The NICU nurses made sure I had plenty of opportunities to hold the babies, and when things were quiet, would provide tips on caring for preemies and ask me how I was doing.
And that, I realized, is their job — or at least a key component of it.
But it made me think about bedside manner, and whether it really does matter. Should patients always expect at least some level of empathy, or are there some situations where a care provider’s personality should take a backseat?
I believe the latter to be true — as long as there are others who can offer the compassion that patients and their families need. When my good friend’s nephew had to undergo a procedure to remove a brain tumor, his parents were looking for the top surgeon in the field — not the nicest surgeon.
They were willing to travel across the country to ensure their son received the best care. And although the most important thing was that the surgery was successful and he’s thriving, they never forgot how kind the nurses were, always making sure he had enough apple juice and could watch his favorite cartoon.
That’s why it’s so vital to have a strong care team; so that all the patient’s needs are met. And the same holds true with any leadership team. In order to get the best out of your staff, you need someone who will hold them to high standards and won’t accept any excuses, and someone who can always offer support and encouragement. One doesn’t work without the other.
And while I will always be appreciative of the nurses who made my stay at the hospital as pleasant as possible, I’m even more grateful to the rude anesthesiologist who did a perfect job administering the epidural.
To me, though I didn’t realize it at the time, that’s what mattered more.
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